I promise you, not a single curse will appear in this blog!
And so in the meantime let me talk to you about your feelings!
Oh no! I hear a collective groan of men as they shuffle away from this post and escape to a screen somewhere!
Stay with me dear reader! Don’t go! Hear me out! It’s difficult, sometimes awkward, I know!
I’ll be brief!
We may not openly admit it, but as men we feel stuff…. all the time.
How do you feel about your feelings?
It is an odd question! Why do I ask! How is it even relevant!
I ask it because our response to the way we feel about feelings massively shapes how we experience not just our emotional life, but the emotions of others.
Our degree of emotional acceptance is so important to good mental and emotional wellbeing and how we connect with people.
As men we can have some complicated feelings about our feelings, particularly the negative ones.
Below are some often mentioned reactions to feeling as described by many men I’ve had the pleasure to work with.
As a consequence to some of these reactions, what do we men do? Many of us push down or push away our emotional life.
No words!
Having a precise language for expressing our feelings is not always easy. We can therefore give up, distract ourselves and hide ourselves in our cave the more confused we are about how to express ourselves.
Men close off. Too many men escape, avoid and dismiss feelings.
Sometimes this lack of words or expression leads to destructive behaviours, higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression resulting in breakdowns of relationships and families.
Your are invited
I invite you to think about your feelings about feelings. I know, think about feelings about feelings, wtf!
Most men who talk about how they feel about feeling experience immediate relief. Strange? This is because they’re not alone in this dilemma. And neither are you.
Except one who categorically preferred to have a tooth out at the dentist than talk about his feelings!
This awkwardness in exploring our emotional life is understandable, it’s a new skill often loaded with judgement and let’s face it, who has taught us?
A first step to good mental health is understanding healthy ways to cope with feelings.
When feelings are shared and understood we are opening up our hearts and enjoy much more of a sense of wellbeing including the feelings of being:
- Understood
- Lighter
- Calmer
- Relaxed
- Less burdened
- Relieved
- Heard
- Accepted
How do you feel about your feelings?
